Handling Holiday Overwhelm For a Peaceful and Joyous Season

🎵 It's the most overwhelming, I mean, WONDERFUL time of the year! 🎵

Between being the designated family "magic maker," juggling endless holiday events, tackling a mile-long to-do list, and trying to live up to the perfect holiday expectations, it’s no wonder this season can feel more overwhelming than wonderful.

While I can’t wave a magic wand to wrap your gifts, prevent meltdowns, take away any grief you're experiencing, or make your gingerbread house defy gravity, I can offer you some tools to help manage stress and shift your expectations—so you can experience more of the magic you truly want this season. Read on below to find support for the holiday struggle that overwhelms you most.

Struggle 1: Overwhelming Expectations

The Struggle:
Do you feel the pressure to create the “perfect” holiday experience? Whether it’s crafting traditions, buying the right gifts, or balancing work with holiday fun, the weight of these expectations can lead to anxiety, burnout, and frustration. You might feel like you’re falling short or unable to do it all, especially when social media makes everyone else’s holiday look perfect. The result? You can’t fully enjoy the present because you're always focused on what’s “missing.”

Reality Check:
No one can do it all, and just because something looks perfect doesn’t mean it feels perfect. Here’s how to create a magical (and manageable) holiday experience for your family—one that feels good to you, not just on paper.

1. Embrace Your Strengths & Interests

You can’t be everything—and that’s okay! We often feel the pressure to be the crafty parent, the cooking parent, the outdoorsy parent, etc., because we see others doing it on social media. But remember, what you share with your kids is what matters. Lean into the things you enjoy and are good at. If you're not into crafting, skip it! The magic comes from being present and sharing what excites you, not doing it all.

2. Clarify Your Family Values

What do you want your holiday to feel like? As a family, decide on the values you want to emphasize this season—connection, kindness, togetherness, or relaxation, for example. Then, align your decisions with those values. Every “yes” is a “no” to something else, so be intentional. Focus on the things that truly matter to your family, and let the rest go. If you need help with this, every time you say "yes" to something, picture it. Does it align with what you want your holiday to feel like?

3. Prioritize the Big Ticket Items

Get everyone involved in a family meeting to identify the 1-2 things each person is most excited about. This way, everyone’s top requests are heard, and there’s no confusion or disappointment later. This is also a great opportunity to practice prioritization. If your kids have long lists of wishes, it can be a valuable exercise in learning what matters most. You can do with with kids as young as 2. Don't forget to make sure your priorities are on there too. You deserve to have a magical holiday.

4. Be Open to Adjusting Plans

Parenting is like a dance—sometimes, you need to flow with the moment. Even if you’ve planned something exciting, if it’s not working on the day-of, it’s okay to pivot. You’re not stuck with your calendar or plans. The real magic comes from being flexible and doing what feels good for your family. We once had an entire day of holiday fun planned, but when the day came, we were all in different moods. My 3-year-old was immersed in an experiment, so we spent the morning working on that instead. It wasn’t the plan, but it was so much fun and created amazing memories!

Struggle 2: Overwhelming Feelings 

The Struggle:
The holiday season can be full of emotional landmines. Whether you're grieving a loss, navigating tough family dynamics, or simply struggling to accept the current reality of your life, these feelings can feel especially amplified this time of year. It’s all valid, and it's all okay to feel.

Reality Check:
It’s important to remember: you don’t have to be festive all the time. Emotions are a natural part of life, and there’s room for all of them—joy, sadness, grief, and everything in between. You don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not to make the holidays “perfect.” Authenticity is what makes this time of year truly magical.

1. Make Room for Your Emotions

Emotions don’t go away just because we try to ignore them. Think of them like a background soundtrack—they’re always playing, whether we notice or not. Suppressing them only makes them louder. When we allow ourselves to feel, they lose their power.

Here are a few ways to release and process emotions:

• Book a Session with Me: Let’s chat through what you’re feeling and find customized ways to cope

• Journaling: Dump out everything on paper—your thoughts, fears, grief, or whatever comes up

• Cry: Let it out. Tears are a natural release

• Talk to a Loved One: Sharing what you’re going through can lighten the emotional load

• Move Your Body: Emotions want to move. Stomp, shake, dance, or run—let your body express what you're feeling

• Simply Name It: “I’m feeling sad right now,” and allow yourself to sit with that feeling without trying to change it

2. Be Extra Gentle with Yourself

Sometimes, we don’t consciously realize we’re struggling until we’re already feeling on edge—snappy, irritable, or just "off." It’s not uncommon to feel more sensitive this time of year, especially if you're dealing with grief or past hurts. While your mind not always remember what you're going through, your body does.

What to do? Anticipate that you may be more emotionally raw than usual. Be kind to yourself. Schedule in self-care and give yourself grace when you need it. You don’t have to fix everything. Just be with yourself and whatever comes up.

3. Your Emotions Aren’t the Driver

We often give our emotions too much weight. While it’s important to feel them, they don’t define who we are. Feeling sad doesn’t make you a “Grinch” or a “Scrooge”—it’s just part of your experience in that moment.

What to remember:
Create some space between the feeling and your identity. Recognize that you’re experiencing sadness, but that doesn’t mean you are a “sad” person. When you make decisions, do so based on your values, not your temporary emotions. This is a great topic we can dive deeper into during a coaching session!

4. Communicate Your Needs

Don’t assume your loved ones can read your mind. If you're struggling, it’s essential to express what you need. My husband and I used to argue during the holidays because I wasn’t able to communicate my feelings until it was too late. I finally learned that I needed 30 minutes alone in the morning to process my emotions (and have a good cry in the shower!) before I could fully engage in the day. I also needed him to understand I wasn't feeling like myself and not to take my change in mood/behavior personally. It wasn't about him, just something I was going through.

Communication is key: Share with your family what you need to feel supported. The holidays are tough enough without silently expecting others to just “know” what’s going on for you.

Struggle 3: Overwhelming Children's Behavior 

The Struggle:
While the holiday season is meant to be fun and magical, it can be overwhelming for kids. The excitement often leads to meltdowns, whining, boundary-pushing, and more. As a parent, this can leave you questioning your own parenting, wondering if you're raising entitled children or if you're doing something wrong.

Reality Check:
Kids are navigating a lot this time of year, just like we are. The holiday season is filled with overstimulation, disrupted routines, and heightened emotions. They might feel the change in the air—whether it’s the extra chaos, the pressure to behave a certain way, or the tension in the household. Plus, with all the talk of abundance and wanting, they can struggle with balancing their desires and feeling guilty about it.
It’s not all fun and lightheartedness for them—it’s also a confusing, overstimulating, and overwhelming time. How much they feel it depends on how sensitive they are, but the effects can be significant.

1. Teach them to identify what they are feeling 

The holiday season can be a tricky time for kids. They may feel a mismatch between how they actually feel and the holiday "vibe" they’re supposed to be experiencing. This is the perfect time to help kids identify their emotions, as it’s something that benefits them all year long.

As children grow, how we react to their emotions shapes their relationship with feelings. If we get tense or uncomfortable when they express big emotions, those feelings can feel unsafe. But when we stay calm, name the feeling, and relate to it, we teach them that all emotions are a normal, human experience—nothing to fear.

2. Teach them how to navigate their feelings 

Emotional challenges don’t go away as we get older; we just get better at managing them. Use these holiday moments as opportunities to teach your child how to handle their feelings. After helping them name the emotion, share a time when you’ve felt the same way and what helps you. Pro tip: Have these conversations outside of heightened emotional moments.

One emotion that comes up a lot during the holidays? Wanting—whether it’s wanting a specific toy or feeling jealous of what others have. It’s okay to want things, and it’s normal to feel jealous. Wanting helps us understand what we value, and it’s not the root of entitlement (as many parents fear). The key is teaching kids how to navigate it. We can’t always have everything we want, but we can use the feeling to figure out what we really want most.

Help your child focus on what they want most or channel their wanting in productive ways, like drawing a picture of what they desire, telling you about it, or even taking a photo of it.

3. Prep them for what's ahead

Little ones (and even tweens and teens) are often experiencing holiday moments for the first time. Sometimes, challenging behavior comes from not knowing what to expect. Prepare your child by walking them through what’s coming up. Set clear expectations and phrase them in positive, encouraging ways. Your mindset is powerful—if you believe they’ll rise to the occasion, they often will.

Things to prep them for:

• Expected behaviors at a party or family event

• What will happen during a holiday experience (gift exchange, new person, etc.)

• What to do if they receive a gift they don’t like

• How to greet new people with confidence

4. Help them dump out their "stress cup"

The holiday season can fill up your child’s stress cup fast. Help them release this stress regularly through calming activities:

• Co-regulation: Spend some quiet time connecting with them

• Big body movements: Help them release energy through activities like jumping, dancing, or crashing. Courtney English on Instagram is a great resource for ideas

• Emotional release: Let them cry when they need to (without rushing to fix it). Just be there for them. Tears can be a powerful way to release pent-up stress

• Unstructured play: Give them time for free, independent play to recharge

• Limit stressors: Make their environment as soothing as possible—comfortable clothes, a slower pace, and familiar routines

Sometimes, kids need space to feel their emotions, and that’s okay. You don’t need to fix everything; just be present and supportive.

5. Assign positive meaning to their behavior

Holiday stress can bring out the worst in all of us. When your child is struggling, try not to assign negative meaning to their behavior. Remember, they are not their actions—they are simply navigating a tricky moment.

As parents, we often catastrophize behavior and fear that a bad moment will define our child. But when we approach their struggles with compassion, we can better understand what they need and stay regulated ourselves. The lens through which we view our children shapes how they will see themselves.

Speak kindly about your child (even silently to yourself) during challenging moments. It will help you stay calm and, most importantly, show them that they’re not defined by their tough times.

I know it is challenging when children experience difficult moments in front of family members we may not see often. Remember that the priority is you and your child and not how others may perceive you. 

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I'd love to know, what are you struggling with most right now? Can I help support you? We can get in depth with the common struggles I outlined above or dive into whatever is on your mind. Let's chat. Book a free discovery call now.

Joyfully yours,